TRAGIC: Recently, a bride in Kerala was killed by her government servant husband because her family did not meet his dowry demands.
By Adv. Vinayak D. Porob
With parents favouring male children and neglecting their daughters and ill-treating them, the dowry evil is passed on from generation to generation. When the girl marries her value depends primarily on whether she produces male children. She may even be evicted from her sasural if she continues to give birth to daughters!
Within few years by such parasitic babus. The daughters live a life of a peril and only work by not even getting adequate nutritious food to eat as the parents are only concerned about their laadka babus. The fathers of such laadka babus are so selfish that they never take their wives and children either for a movie or to eat in a restaurant even once in a year or out of station on a family tour but only compel their daughters and their wives to slog hard for their sons i.e the laadka babus to enjoy which laadka babus paternity itself appears to be doubtful based on their physical features and behaviour.
The laadka babus not only by inherent qualities are different from the other family members but also in many cases in physical appearances too. The class of the family is not reflected in such laadka babus and in most of the cases with respect to the physical features it appears that inadvertently a child belonging to some other family was exchanged in the hospital at the time of the birth of such laadka babus. Sometimes one gets the feeling that perhaps a DNA test at least would come to the aid of the married sisters who are bestowing love on someone who perhaps may not be their biological brother. Parents should be careful while boasting about their financial status in front of their children and in most of the cases the parents who are financial weak only try to portray as if they are millionaires when infact from the style and standard of their living one gets an idea of a person’s financial capacity. Father primarily being the bread earner in the family shall make an endeavor to treat all his children equally and not to strive the daughters and provide all the luxuries to an only son who later becomes a parasite. The married daughters also by providing vehicles, mobiles etc to these laadka babus who even don’t earn the money to put fuel or recharge, play a role in turning them into a parasite. These married sisters do not understand that their husbands realize and know the reason for the parasitic babus only with half a dozen of oranges visiting their married sister’s houses on the eve of a family function and on the next day shamelessly wearing new jeans and shirt and attending the function . Such parasitic laadka babus are so cruel that one of such parasitic babu along-with his friends attended a feast on the day when his mother was being operated and on the next day attended a famous zatra and posted pictures of it on face book. It is so shameful and appalling to see that when the married daughters who are rightly in the hospital with the mother by keeping aside their marital obligations, this parasitic babu who rather than being in the hospital chooses to be out enjoying festivals and zatras. These laadka babus are very good actors and when any of the parents are ill, in order to mitigate their duty of taking care of the sick parent, cry and call the married sisters who by leaving all their marital responsibilities rush to the parents house and upon arrival of the married sisters, these parasitic babus leave the sisters with the sick parent and escape to enjoy their vices which these blind married sisters fail to realize.
The laadka babus who live a parasitic life will never be of any aid to anybody not even to their parents and inspite of that the parents and sisters out of love and affection keep trying to cover up the vices of such parasitic babus by not realizing the fact that the world is not blind and can perceive what the laadka babus do in life. Even when family functions are held rather than helping in organizing, these laadka babus are after their commissions if any work is entrusted to these laadka babus and hence while organizing any family functions also, no assistance is sought from such laadka babus who are selfish and are only trying to cheat their own married sisters and brother –in-laws for monetary commissions.
The parents of such laadka babus in most of the cases due to failure on the part of such laadka babus to fulfill their obligations, try to force upon their married daughters and in turn on their son-in-laws to fulfill the obligations of such laadka babus and by which in their selfish interest they fail to realize that their daughters are married into and are part of some other families and their son-in-laws are sons of some other families wherein being the son, the son-in-laws have mandatory obligations to be fulfilled towards their parents or else there would be no difference between the son-in-laws and these parasitic laadka babus. There is a limit which the son-in-laws cannot cross as son –in-laws are son-in-laws and not sons, which the parents of such parasitic sons should understand or else for no fault of the daughters or the son-in-laws, the married live of the daughters can get disturbed.
SELFISH AND GREEDY
Selfishness and greed is reflected in the attitude, behavior and in the style of speaking of such laadka babus who many times without money even refuse to pick or drop their married sisters if they wish to visit their parents and as such the husbands out of obligation have to drop in-spite of being preoccupied. The consequences of the incapability and vices of the laadka babus are faced by married daughters and the elder married daughters in most of the cases have to bear the financial burden by obtaining loan by concealing from their husbands for the marriage expenses of their younger spinster sisters as neither the laadka babus nor the fathers who are boastful with empty pockets are willing to bare the expenditure of marriage. Even their own hospital charges and delivery expenditure during the first delivery are borne by the sisters themselves rather than the fathers who are bound as per the traditional norm, however in one such case to maintain her and her father’s respect, the daughter falsely bragged that the medical bills are paid by the father and the father himself also shamelessly boasts of paying it without knowing the fact that during the time of delivery when the mobile was handed over to the husband, the transaction with respect to transfer of money for payment of hospital bills between the boss under whom the daughter was working and the daughter was taken note by the husband.
There are certain families who are known to be living on the income of their married daughters and when the husbands of such daughters try put a stop to it, usually with voraciousness, the mother of such daughters try to create a rift between the parents of the husband and her daughter who is the daughter-in-law as she fears that if her daughter develops close proximity with her parents-in-law than the daughter will not follow her instructions and the money flow to satisfy her and her laadka babu’s lust will be clogged.
PARENTS HELP SOUGHT
The expectation of such mothers is that every week with the entire marketing stuff, the married daughters should visit the parent’s house and while leaving should secretly by concealing from their husbands give her a minimum amount of Rs.2000/- to pay the electricity and water bills and /or for other expenditure and further to give the same to such laadka babus who regularly fight with their respective fathers for money. The fathers who have their whole life treated the daughters with gender bias, the same daughters out of love and affection and because of the emotional blackmail by the mothers, to avoid fights between such laadka babus and their fathers, conceal from their husbands and by hook or crook handover money to their mothers. The shameless fathers of such laadka babus even during family functions don’t hesitate to tell openly that they only like kokum curry and pickle, however fail to realize that their children may want more than that but since they themselves do not eat any other food at home other than kokam curry and pickle they impose the same food on their wives and daughters and therefore the thirst and hunger to eat good food drives the mothers of such married daughters to coax their married daughters in giving money to them so as to satisfy their hunger and taste for good food which their self-centered husbands have deprived them of.
The married sisters of such laadka babus, every year in the month of may, visit their parents house and out of their own money by concealing from their husband buy all the stuff required and stored for monsoons in the state of Goa and known in Konkani as PURUMETH and which includes kokum, dried red chilies, tamarind, dried fish etc. Such petty expense is not of any concern to the husbands; however married daughters and their mothers should not feel that the husbands are unaware of this; however since such petty expenses being not even a week’s income of such husbands, they care a damn about it. Some of the married sisters even after their marriages have spent their entire income on such laadka babus and their mothers and therefore their husbands on the pretext of delivery have convinced such married daughters to leave their jobs and now after delivery are rightly not allowing such married daughters to rejoin as income derived from the employment of such married daughters is only enjoyed by such laadka babus and their mothers without spending a single rupee in the matrimonial house. The lies with respect to the salary of such married daughters are exposed to their husbands however to avoid further exploitation of their wives by such laadka babus and their parents under the guise of emotional blackmail, the husbands have decided not to allow such married daughters to rejoin employment. The desperate financial condition of the parents of such laadka babus are to knowledge of their husbands, however boasting of their financial prowess by such married daughters being a hoax is laughed off by such husbands as a joke.
Laadka babus and their mothers in order to misguide and extort money from their married daughters by emotional blackmail and under a cloak, have stooped so low that both the mothers and the sons i.e the laadka babus keep on visiting several babas and swamis thereby engaging into black magic in order to brainwash the minds of such married daughters so that they become a puppet in the hands of such mothers and play and dance to their tunes thereby giving money as per the whims and fancies of such mothers of laadka babus and even by stealing from the husband, which these married daughters who have become blind in the love for their mothers and brothers should understand and should stop playing with rice.
The married sisters should stop shielding such laadka babus by boasting about them as everyone knows about their vices as well as the fact that the business carried for namesake by such laadka babus though in loses is continued as the laadka babus by emotionally blackmailing their sisters, keep on extorting money for business reasons, however which is spent on vices. The laadka babus are so impatient that even if being the only driver of the car in the family which car probably belongs to the father with financial assistance from married daughters is requested to drive to attend any family function than under such circumstances when the time is up for these laadka babus to meet their vicious friends such laadka babus even without allowing their parents to eat, rushes them by threatening to leave with the car without them.
These laadka babus sit in the bar with their friends and under intoxication late night make calls to their married sisters demanding money by emotionally blackmailing the married sisters that they i.e these laadka babus are fed up of their lives and feel like committing suicide as they have no money and the married sisters in apprehension of being embarrassed in front of their husbands try to conceal the calls made by such laadka babus. The married sisters out of the love for their brother fail to realize the fact that such laadka babus are parasites and would never commit suicide however would infact murder or assault someone including the parents for money. These laadka babus as expected are cunning enough to know very well how and when the emotional card has to be played in order to take undue advantage of their married sister’s love.
The mothers of such laadka babus keep on troubling the married daughters by calling on the mobiles of the married daughters asking whereabouts of such alcoholic laadka babus who are least bothered about their parents or their sisters, when such laadka babus sit in the bar and do not return home even till late hours in the night. The married sisters under compulsion keep on calling the mothers in order to inquire and for hours are on the phone, however when the husband enters, the married sisters out of embarrassment immediately disconnect and in the presence of the husbands these married sisters never speak with either their mothers or with such laadka babus on the phone. The married sisters though are physically present in the matrimonial house, however mentally and physiologically they are always disturbed as their minds are always diverted to the events that are occurring at their parent’s house by failing to understand the lesson of life that you reap what you sow.
To conclude one has to note that these Laadka babus who are parasitic in nature and who only know the game of emotional blackmailing have no love or feelings and are only born to live a life at the cost of others and therefore it is better to have a daughter instead of such a parasitic son as the son-in-laws will at least not get the feeling that an useless, parasitic and vicious brother-in-law is enjoying at his and his wife’s cost!. The parents of such laadka babus and the laadka babus should be careful as the husbands of such married daughters though know everything are being patient enough to bear the same, however if patience is lost than the consequences can be severe for such laadka babus if at any time the husbands of such married daughters realize that their married lives are getting shattered because of the greed and lust of such laadka babus whose existence itself is a burden on this planet.
(The contents of this article are based on the experiences gained by the writer by handling several criminal and matrimonial matters and is his personal opinion, not related or connected to any particular case, family, person or persons. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.)