In Maye Musk’s book in Hindi edition `Jab Aurat Sochti Hai’ published by Rajkamal Prakashan and launched in Delhi and Mumbai in April 2025 when she was in India. Sorry, she didn’t get the media coverage which she more than deserves.
MAYE MUSK’S book – Penguin’s A Woman Makes A Plan’ or Rajkamal Prakashan’s Hindi editionJab Aurat Sochti Hai’ is a treat of a read and I’ve just spent a week reading it back and forth! Here’s a real life story to read in the original English or Hindi, with real insightful advice for young people living in the West or in the East. I love Maye Musk’s gentle, wry humor…unforgettable, as when she notes somewhere that women have to kiss a lot of frogs hoping one of them would be a prince! This and there’s much food for thought and action, in this iconic story courtesy a most iconic woman for our times.
I’ve been reading the English edition titled “When A Woman Makes A Plan” and must say I’m not surprised that Rajkamal Prakashan decided to do a Hindi translation. This is one story which is fiction but a Penguin Book-Self Help; a most pertinent read which could well be included in modern literature syllabus for students!
“A Woman Makes A Plan” tells the story of a Canadian-South African woman (nee Halderman) who casually gets pushed into marriage early in life and within a few years the charm of marriage fades. For her husband she was just another woman to use and abuse sadistically, after three children in three years she had enough and was ready to say goodbye to her almost seven-year-old marriage now….
She found herself struggling as a single mother by the time she was 31 and what sustained her was her parental family, with parents subscribing to an interesting mix of adventure and commonsense; they taught their children to live dangerously but carefully! Given her early happy adventurous life it was in marriage she learned life is a rose garden for only a very few…you have to work hard to enjoy your own rose garden!
Maye Musk says it is growing up with her parents, imbibing their spirit of making the most of life’s ups and downs, which in the end paid off for her later on when she had to raise and sustain herself and her three children, that’s when she learned the importance of making a plan… to get out of the situations coming her way while earning money as a model and later as a dietitian/nutrition. Modeling is not as glamorous lifestyle as many of us may imagine!
But she wanted to do her best by her children, her now very famous eldest son Elon Musk and her daughter Tosca and son Kimbal. Her bully of a husband tried to get her back but she was terrified for she was really running away from his influence and ability to jeopardize her career and her life while she sought to be free from his tyranny.
Marriage was over for her. What I love so much about this book is that it is such a disarming yet practical guide for young people seeking insight into marital relationships…she recounts, “I still modeled in university, to my surprise. As planned, I got my degree, and then I got married: another surprise. My goal wasn’t to have children so quickly either. I didn‘t realize I could fall pregnant on a honeymoon and have three kids in three years…”
She tried to stay in her marriage but when her husband couldn’t have enough of wreaking anger on her, she realized she had to get out of her marriage for herself and for her children. Grow up in a real hurry when she realized how much she had to plan to make ends meet, for being poor meant she and they had to work very hard and make the most of whatever help came their way.
MERCIFULLY, she says, with the bad experiences of life there were also some very good redeeming ones, as she moved to Canada and then to the USA to be near to her children. She liked to be near to them to help them so that they furthered their education and got the chances they needed to do well.
Maye Musk’s story is so sweetly filled with poignant observations and her gentle sense of humor is exquisite. Her catch-line lesson is life can always be difficult but if you make a plan — the worst that could have happen is it fail; then make another one and another one till successful. So it was in her life as she grew up in motherhood, furthered her career as a model and owned her own dietitian clinic…in light moments discovering how in her world everyone loved a blonde, so as her hair turned white she turned transformed into something like a silver blonde.
She became a model sought after even after the years caught up with her right into her 70s; it was strict discipline which sustained her and won all the way. Laying down the law for her children, never mollycoddling them but being there for them as they had to pull their weight, stretch to take care of themselves…nothing was easy though the rewards were sweet later on. Maye Musk had to keep upgrading herself and yet she says she had some fun along the way thanks to her father’s life philosophy of “Live dangerously—carefully!” So make plans and take chances, win or lose, it’s part of the game we have to play in life.
“A Woman Makies a Plan” is full of insight as well as observations from a woman’s point of view in Western society, reflected in chapter titles … “silver is the new blond” or “be fascinating, it’s better to be interesting than to be beautiful”, also “exploration: plan for the expected, and be ready for the unexpected”…of course, say yes to all opportunities…don’t be afraid to start over, the harder you work, the luckier you get, and there’s much more that’s winsome in this guide to life and living like no other.
What comes home is the importance of planning, presentation, being healthy and happy and to continue to smile into one’s 70s – Maye Musk, an icon of substance, style and mysterious je nais sais qua in the US today; possibly more adored in China where she does modeling assignments or attends functions to do with her famous son Elon Musk’s Tesla events.
THIS is to reiterate that “A Woman Makes A Plan” is something delightful for keeps, it is now by my bedside for sometimes I feel like reading some words of infinite poignancy anew. Here’s an enormously fruitful book for keeps to treasure.
Excerpted from `A Woman Makes A Plan’ by Maye Musk…
14.
CHANGE COUNTRIES, IF NECESSARY
Take a chance; you can always return
LIFE is unpredictable and full of surprises. Sometimes you just need to take a chance and make a big change.
I was forty-one, my business was going well in Johannesburg, and we had a nice house. Finally, I felt secure.
Eon wanted to move to Canada. He felt like North American was the right place to pursue his computer interests. He asked me to apply to regain my citizenship so that the three kids could all get citizenship.
Tosca wanted to join him because she thought it would be more fun. When Tosca was thirteen, she had wanted to study French at the Alliance Francaise, just in case she moved to Canada. She became very interested in her French lessons, because she had read that French was the second language of Canada.
I took lessons as well. I had studied Frencha t school, so I was in the advanced class. Each class at Alliance Francaise was holding a performance, and my class said, “We need an opera singer,” None of us were talented.
I said, “My daughter can do it!”
They said, “But she’s in the beginner’s class. She can’ speak French.”
I said, “We’ll figure it out.”
We rented a gold opera gown and wig, and she performed in French. Even though she was so young, even though she didn’t speak French, she took on this challenge and gave a great performance.
No one recognized her. Some remarked that it was unfair that we’d brought in a singer. They were shocked to find out it was Tosca, who was just thirteen.
She was still panicked about not being an expert in French, because in South Africa, if you didn’t pass your Afrikaans exams, you failed your grade. She was convinced that we were going to move and thought that if she arrived in Canada and didn’t know how to speak French, she would fail her subjects.
It took a long time to get it all sorted. When the passports finally arrived Elon was on his way to Canada three weeks later. He was seventeen.
I sent him with addresses and $2,000 in traveler’s checks. The money was from the original 100 rand I had won in my first beauty competition twenty years before. A friend told me to put my winnings into stocks. When the bottom of the market fell out in 1969 and the R100 dropped to R10, I opened an account in Elon’s name after he was born and forgot about it. In 1989, I found that account, and it was worth $2,000. Now he had some money to survive on for a few weeks.
I wrote to my family in Canada to let them know that he was coming, although of course he got to them before the letters did. At that time, letters took six weeks to get there.
He landed in Montreal and called my uncle, but there was no answer. He called me collect and said, “What do I do now?”
I told him to find a YMCA. Then he traveled to Toronto to find another uncle, who wasn’t there either. So he took a bus to Saskatchewan to find my cousins.
He just turned up on their doorstep and said, “Hi, I’m Maye’s son.” That is where he turned eighteen.
Tosca, who was going to fifteen by then, said to me, “Maybe we should join Elon. Go and see what he is doing.”
But I had been accepted to the University of Cape Town for my Phd.
I said, “I’ll do my degree here, and we can go after that.”
She said, “If we don’t move, I’ll go to Canada, and Elon will look after me.”
I thought that was nonsense, but I agreed to go and see what was going on. I had no interest in moving, but Elon was already there. Kimbal said he wanted to go when he finished high school, and Tosca was so determined, I certainly wasn’t going to let them go by themselves. At the very least, I could go and check it out.
I found two dietitians who agreed to take over my practice while I traveled. They stayed in my home to look after Tosca.
When I went to Canada to see about opportunities, Elon and I traveled together to universities in five provinces. Each university was willing to take me on except for Montreal, because they said my French wasn’t good enough to do research work.
I became interested in the University ofToronto, because they would pay me as a research officer to work ten hours per sweek so I could also run my practice, study, and model. Toronto was also the center for modeling in Canada. And as I was staff member, my children would be able to study for free.
I went to all the modeling agencies in five major cities. I was in my early forties, so I wasn’t sure about the reception I’d receive. But they each said yes, they could use an older model.
I came back to Johannesburg three weeks later and found that Tosca had sold my home, my furniture, and my car. This five-foot-ten fifteen-year-old who did not care that she was young and had no permission just sold it all. Everything in the house was gone. And my car.
Many people have asked why I wasn’t mad at Tosca for selling my home, car, and furniture. Well, she had a point. We had discussed moving to Canada eventually; she just wanted to speed up the process. If a family member makes a good point, even if it’s a drastic change, go with it.
Moving to Toronto was good for our family because there were new opportunities. I was at my peak in Johannesburg and happy to be there, but my children saw a future in America. We could start in Canada. We knew it would be hard in the beginning, but when we proved ourselves, it helped in the long-term.,
In the short-term, the surprise was that I would never fear my ex-husband again, after twenty years of hell. To live without fear is wonderful. Even if you don’t know if moving will be good for you and your family, you can always go back. I never went back.
If it’s time to move ahead, take a chance, give it three years, try really hard to get settled. If your life hasn’t improved and you are very unhappy, go back to your former situation.