SURVIVAL PACK FOR LIBERALS!

TROUBLE: There are trouble times ahead for liberals and publications which fight for freedom of speech and equality. Facebook is full of hate mail against the Wire and Scroll, online publications that oppose the BJP

By Yagya Sachdeva

How do liberals who opposed the BJP survive now that Modi has returned to power? Will they be able to survive or will they be forced to follow in the footsteps of other large media who have become Modi bhakts?

THE results are out, the deed is done, the bell has tolled. Liberals everywhere are tossing and turning in their beds, it’s time to smell the “chai” guys, but don’t stress because we’re here to turn your frown upside down! What you need right now is a survival pack and we’ve got one for you right here.

  1. You can finally quit that family WhatsApp group
    You are finally done with doing all the fact-checks, passionate arguments, and meme corrections. You don’t have to bear the inappropriate jokes and the barrage of unwanted messages. You can finally say goodbye to all that crap, and don’t feel guilty because you tried to make your point but clearly no one saw it. So here’s your out. TAKE IT.
  2. Get together for a mahagatbhandhan… with Booze
    This alliance will not let you down. There’s nothing better than kicking it with your gang when you’ve been kicked. Cut yourself some slack and make yourself a drink. Or 12.
  3. Can call out all the panelists for being the Jon Snows they were.
    They seriously knew “nothing”! They were as clueless about who’s going to get the “throne” as much as the show’s writers on the finale of Game of Thrones. It’s not you, it’s them.
  4. Console yourself about the exit polls… Technically, they were wrong
    No one anticipated such dramatic numbers when the exit polls were out and everyone knew they would be wrong. And they still ARE wrong because the party managed to win with FAR more dramatic numbers. So draw a long breath and enjoy being “almost right”.
  5. Enjoy all that free therapy in ‘Mann Ki Baat’
    Who knows, you might even enjoy it. And you don’t even need to get out of bed, take a shower or get dressed! Just switch the radio on and feel all that healing.
    shudders
    And if none of these work, find yourself a secluded cave to meditate in. You could pray, introspect, or just sit around and enjoy your private ‘echo chamber’.

Courtesy: Quint

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