HEY MOJI3! DARO MAT, BHAAGO MAT! By Aravind Bhatikar

We are losing, but don’t worry!

May 14, 2024
By Aravind Bhatikar

Moji3: Chhotubhai, what is happening? Everybody says we will win less than 200 seats! Am I going to become the prime minister again or not? I have already asked my tailors to make 1,000 kurta and jackets ready for my first year.
Chhotubhai Dhokla: Everything is failing, Moji3! Your idea of creating confusion in Congress by taking Adani and Ambani names did not work, while Rahul Gandhi said you have experience of sending and receiving black money in tempos. You even know the color of the boris!

Moji3 : Yes! I saw him on Adani TV. Have you not instructed all these godi media to show only my pictures and not to show the Nehru Gandhi family on television?
Chhotubhai Dhokla: Yes, yes! I gave instructions but now share market is down because all Gujarati brokers feel Rahul Gandhi’s Congress will win. So, godi media is also showing Rahul Gandhi and not showing your pictures.

Moji3 : How can they do it? Are they not afraid of ED, CBI and IT?
Chhotubhai : ED is now saying everybody is becoming less afraid of them. Everybody is seeing that Arvind Kejriwal has become more popular after he was jailed by ED. Now all top leaders want to be jailed by ED! What to do?

Moji3: How can we lose elections? Have you not told your police to stop those Congress voters?
Chhotubhai : Yes, yes! They did their work in UP. They frighten women voters and stop them from going to polling booths. But after that, these Opposition voters started staying in other localities on the previous night of voting and coming to vote the next day.

Moji3: Khaddaajee, why are your karyakartaa not active in helping our candidates?
Bada Khaddaa : Moji3, even though I am the president of the Bharatiya Jhoomla Party (BJP), our kaaryakartaas do not obey me. They say, Rahul Gandhi is going to win, so what is the point in their working hard? They also say that voters laugh when they tell voters that it is Moji3 who has brought Bhagwan Ram to India after 500 years.

Moji3: Why are all of you acting against me? You do not want to see me as prime minister for the third term?
Bada Khaddaa: Moji3, you are a Vishwaguru, but suddenly voters everywhere have begun to feel that you are everybody’s guru in manufacturing and distributing lies. We have spent thousands of crore rupees on godi media to promote your personality, but now voters have stopped seeing godi media. Voters are now convinced that godi media is also telling lies.

Moji3: Chhotubhai, Khaddaaji, you are useless! Let me talk to Sanjeev Kumar. He is my only hope now.
(Moji3 calls Sanjeev Kumar on his hotline, and asks him why everybody says the Bharatiya Jhoomla Party is losing. Sanjeev Kumar informs that campaigning is going on and he has decided to “see nothing, hear nothing and speak nothing” because that is the only way he can help Moji3 to win elections).
Chhotubhai : What does Sanjeev Kumar say?

Moji3: He says he is “seeing nothing, hearing nothing and speaking nothing” because that is the only way he can help me to win elections. I think he is also useless like all of you. Should I now transfer him and appoint another IAS officer in-charge on voting and counting?
Chhotubhai: No! That will create more problems now. I will see what my police can do in the remaining days of the election.

Moji3 : Shall I tell my tailors not to go ahead with those 1,000 kurtas and jackets?
Chhotubhai : Wait! Let us see what happens during counting of votes.

Hey Moji3! Daro Mat, Bhaago Mat!
It’s all God’s wish!

May 16 2024

FOUR phases of the Lok Sabha Elections are over. Results for 378 seats are locked in EVMs. Modi’s “Ees baar char sau paar” is now rarely heard. Amit Shah recently announced that out of the 380 seats for which polling has taken place, the BJP has already won 270.
Psephologists and political analysts however don’t agree with Amit Shah. Most of them predict that the BJP will end up with less than 200 seats on its own and around 230 along with other constituents of the NDA. Rahul Gandhi has publicly predicted that Modi would win less than 150 seats. Mamata Banerjee has predicted that the INDIA Alliance will win 315 seats and the BJP only 190-195. Political analysts point out that in 2014, BJP had won 186 seats when results of 380 constituencies were announced and the BJP had won 206 seats out of 380 in 2019. Considering that there is no Pulwama or Balakot up to now in this election and the widespread anti-Modi-Shah wave due to a variety of factors including a non-performing economy, increasing inequality and unprecedented corruption in BJP exposed by the Electoral Bond Scheme, it is highly unlikely that Modi will be given a third term by Indian voters.
Modi’s strategy of weaponising Ayodhya has not succeeded. The reduction in the turnout of traditional BJP voters in the Hindi belt in the first 4 phases (BIMARU) was proof enough of the failure of that strategy. The prompt course-correction by Modi, after the third phase of polling, to resort to unabashed communal polarization also seems to be falling on deaf years. His diatribe against Mughal rulers for destroying Hindu temples many centuries back, his blatant lies and mischievous interpretations of Tejashwi Yadav’s act of eating fish in Navratri days or Rahul Gandhi or Lalu Prasad preparing a mutton dish during Sawan did not at all resonate with voters. His wild references to Muslims as “infiltrators” and “those who produce more children,” absurd allegations against the Congress of planning to take away the gold and mangalsutra of Hindu women for distributing among Muslims did more damage than good to the BJP. His recent speeches have not only exposed his fears about impending defeats, but also led to speculation among skeptical political analysts that he may be losing his equanimity much faster than expected by his political circles.
The 3 phases of polling during the next 16-17 days are likely to see more frantic efforts by Modi-Shah to polarize voters in BJP’s favor. There may be more abuses of power in the BJP -ruled states to influence voting patterns. Complaints of malfunctioning of EVMs in Lakhimpur Kheri where Ajay Mishra Teni, the infamous Union Minister is the BJP candidate, the illegal actions of the police in checking IDs of voters queuing in front of polling booths, the over enthusiastic loyalty of some policemen trying to prevent women voters from going to polling booths – all in UP, may all be the beginning of excesses that have taken place in the fourth phase of elections. One can only hope that these excesses or technical glitches “all glitches in favour of BJP?” are only exceptions, not to be repeated in the remaining three phases.
The INDIA Alliance will have to be on their toes to stop any mischief or illegalities that may be committed by a “holier than thou” police and District Administration in the BJP-ruled states during the next 3 phases. WE, THE PEOPLE will have to do, whatever is possible, to ensure free and fair polling in our area. More than the process of polling, WE, THE PEOPLE will have to be alert during the counting process. For, we have seen what has happened at Chandigarh. WE, THE PEOPLE should not allow a “Chandigarh” to happen in our area.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 + 6 =